We’ve all been there!
So who hasn’t created a fantasy in their mind, their inner world? Of course you have, we all have. You did it when you were young and you were working out who you were going to be when you grew up! You did it when you were a teenager, mooching around in your own inner world putting things that were wrong to right! You used the fantasy to work out what it would be like to be totally in love, your feet hardly touching the ground.
It is when you keep returning, sometimes habitually and even addictively to the fantasy to try and patch up your reality yet still using the same methodology as your younger self, that things go wrong.
Perhaps you haven’t even realised that you visit the fantasy and use it to fix the problems you may have. Do you use the fantasy to:
- feel better
- become the hero
- create outcomes that you want to experience
- reassure your ego
How does your ego gain reassurance? In the fantasy realm you are being seen through the eyes of others the way you wish to be seen. You are who you want to be but you become so only in your fantasy. You are seen and spoken about as you feel you deserve to be. You have a role or position that takes you to unlimited places, earns you the money you deserve and gives you the status you want to experience. Your ego simply feels better in your fantasy.
Fantasies have been thick in the ether of late!
This means there is a lot of traffic and debris being generated by people creating and living through their fantasies. Do you spend a lot of your time directing your energy into these false ethereal realities? Ongoing fantasies and an inability to deal with reality, can create a split within your consciousness and your intelligence.
If you are constantly visiting the fantasy, then you are directing your energies to create a dimension of existence where your fantasy continues to play out, like a long-running movie. This movie is always there waiting for you to play your part, to revisit and pick-up where you left off. Parts of your consciousness, for example, a clever part, a part that knows how to tempt you, creates the doorway so that you can access the fantasy realm.
How deep does the rabbit hole go?
Take this challenge and note down when you:
- play the role of being someone else and hear yourself talking about how good you are
- become the hero in your fantasy proving other people wrong, solving problems and becoming the star player in your act
- procrastinate, a definite doorway into the fantasy
- focus up ahead of the present moment to the future, to the end result rather than being present in each moment and experiencing and solving challenges along the way
- lose yourself in who you will be when you win that award, that match, that position….rather than feeling and processing your vulnerability about who you are right now
Effectively, the fantasy is how you avoid reality when you don’t have the skills to solve issues and problems as they present. This often involves the pre-adolescent, the teenage self and your ego leading you.
Remember that these less mature aspects belong to your whole consciousness, your whole intelligence. When you are using your whole self, all of your levels of intelligence, you are able to find the answers, to solve your issues and problems. Your inability to solve a problem, the lack of knowing what to do, often began when you were the pre-adolescent or the teenager. These particular expressions or parts of you have become stuck, have not learnt the skills that you need and continue to influence you back into the fantasy to cope.
Your secret life
If you find yourself experiencing the following:
- escaping into daydreams
- hearing the conversations as parts of yourself play out their roles in the never ending movie
- any awareness of your alternative reality through day dreams, imagination, pretending or whilst in trance
- avoiding doing what you know you need to do
- living out your teenage dreams even though you are a lot older now….
You may need to consider that a part of you, a younger aspect or a part of your ego has become stuck.
In our next blog we will help you to recognise more about what a healthy reality looks and feels like.