Searching for something, but what?
When I first started the AIP course I was definitely looking for something in my life, however I had no idea what it was!
Friends of mine had used the term higher self and mentioned this course. I truly had no idea what the higher self was but I decided that it sounded great and that I wanted to get one! Looking back, despite my blissful ignorance, a chord had been struck within me and that was the beginning of my journey.
Over the two-year period there were many times when the then weekly commitment of turning up felt like a big ask. I never wanted to quit, but lounging around at home was sometimes more tempting.
I quickly learnt that those weeks, when I really didn’t feel like going, were the most important classes for me to go to. I always gained something of value or released something that was blocking me. I learnt to question more deeply what was going on for me, beyond what my mind might have understood, and to recognise my discomfort as a sign that something needed to be addressed. I still work like this today.
Getting underneath it
When I began the course I was a person who came across as a happy and relaxed person on the surface, however I was not able to stand up or speak up for myself in any area of my life.
Once upon a time people were shocked even offended if I ever spoke up and attempted to put a boundary in place for myself. Today people comment that,
“its unlike you not to say something if something isn’t quite right”.
I continue to work on finding balance with holding boundaries and speaking up for myself, it’s become second nature for me to do this now and I’m so grateful for that.
Prior to commencing the AIP course I had spent years trying many different things, working with different people trying to find resolution and peace in my life. The process of learning to work with my higher self along with Zoe and Kerrie’s continued support, has provided me with a way forward that feels authentic and right for me.
The AIP has been tremendously challenging at times. My personal relationships in all areas of my life have been tested, every time asking me to find and hold my own truth in each circumstance, and not all of those relationships have stood the test of time. This has felt heartbreaking at times, yet my relationship to myself has continued to grow stronger.
Finding more of me, the next step, higher self
I look back on the time that I was going through the course with so much love, for me it was a really special and transitional time. I didn’t realise that in “breaking through to my higher self”, I was actually finding myself.
When I completed the course I hadn’t had the bolt of lightning breakthrough to my higher self that I was thinking I might have at the beginning. My breakthrough to higher self was more subtle and unfolded over time.
Most importantly, I realise now, that I had laid down the foundations for my adult life.
With all of the challenges that I have gone through I’ve not once regretted my choice to take this journey. I feel it was my destiny and I feel more whole as a person for it.
My day to day life has changed dramatically. My life isn’t perfect, I still face challenges. There are still parts of my story to resolve and pieces of myself to put back together again. When people ask me if there’s anything about my life I’d like to change though my answer is, no!